my day at the mall

As i stepped in, i took one look at my sandals, twice repaired, skin peeling, with threads showing like the unkempt hair of a balding old man and muttered "Shit! Even the guard seems to be dressed more decently!"

Welcome to the mall.

I've been to malls before in metros (not on my own, though. just tagging along a friend or so.) but i never really got used to "mall culture". Back in my home town, entering its newest hangout and first mall, I sneaked in, trying to hide the faded, crumpled "VenkataDurga Matching Center" polythene cover behind me.My sense of triumph barely lasted two seconds before the guard came running after me shouting at the top of his voice "Madam!! Inside bag no! Inside bag no!"
"Oh!" I said, handing it over,while looking amused, half trying to cover it with my dupatta. "Just like me to forget! Ah-hah..!" I glanced around furtively, fidgeting with the coupon but no one was watching anymore. Just another of those uncool, unsophisticated new-to-the-city girl, they must've thought. Humph! As if I cared!

The inside of a shopping mall is a shopaholic's seventh heaven. You can never get tired of going through the exquisite, not to mention, the exorbitantly priced goods on display, even after the salesgirl following you loses all interest, as she eventually realizes your humble intentions. Even if you do, you can still spend plenty of time drooling over the smart guys among other shoppers, wondering why you've never seen even one anywhere in town before.

So, once I was inside, i tried to look the part by holding my head high and showing-what I assumed, was- attitude.

I walked briskly towards one corner and start busily fingering through some Abercrombie shirts. After many minutes, when there was no fabric untouched and no hanger misplaced, I ambled towards the center of the room and, slumping onto the couch, I opened my cellphone, making sure the guy siting beside me noticed that it was a new and costly model.
For a long while I was engrossed in pretending to be replying to messages, when I slowly became conscious of an itching sensation in my back. Without making it seem too awkward, i tried scratch the spot but it was out of my reach. I contemplated using the flip edge of my phone. On second thoughts, decided to save me my left over dignity.
So I made my way across the room to a huge line of clothing and disappeared behind it. Okay, you can breathe now- I told myself, leaning against the wall. Wait a minute, this wall is textured! Without wasting a moment I rubbed my back against the wall, moving from side to side, in blissful relief. When I opened my eyes, to my horror, I discovered a sales guy giving me a look that can only be described as a mixture of funny, weird and suspicious. I didn't even want to start imagining what my gestures must have remotely resembled. "Er... how much for this pair?" I asked him, grabbing the nearest jeans. "This is the gents section," he said, taking it from my hands. So? I could be a female customer who likes wearing men's clothing.
"I know that. Its for my cousin's stepfather's adopted son. You mind?"
"7999 rupees."
"7999 rupees....!?"(trying not to gasp)
"7999 rupees."
"Ahem.... Mmmhmmm..."
I made my way to another row and there he was again, following me like I was some naughty child, expected to do some mischief any moment. Or a convict out of jail on probation. Or maybe he thought I was a criminal, just out of jail, convicted of shoplifting and harassing poor salesmen.
Leave me alone you stalker! I wanted to yell at him. But I had had enough. Before I could make a total fool of myself, I started for the exit. Oh, but wasn't over yet.
"You wont take ?" he stopped me.
what happened to the word madam, you ill mannered buffalo!
"Er..I ll come back later."
He smiled. That irritating I-knew -it-all-along smug smile that makes you feel like punching him in the face and running away before he can catch you again!

I made straight for the swinging doors and hailed the first auto I set my eyes on. As i was getting into the auto, I heard somebody shouting. Imagine my consternation when I turned and saw that it was the guard again, wildly swinging my multicolored bag while running towards me again, this time shouting- "Bag madam! Bag madam!" Oh! For the love of heaven!! Did his job include chasing innocent customers like me?
"Just drive! " I ordered the driver.
"Edo coupon ani arustunnadu andi!" he said.
"Mannalni kaadu, nuvvvu poni."

Clutching my souvenir, I went home...

Sometimes after that, I wondered, what the guard did with the contents of my bag which included two aluminium ladles and the broken blade of my mixer grinder that I had intended to get rid of.
I just hope he didn't gorge on the packet of Mrraaww!, my pet cat's favourite food.

of women empowerment and divorce

I came across a survey that said almost half of the marriages in the US end in divorces.
and in recent times, there has been much talk about the growing number of divorces among urban Indians. Specially in the IT industry.

some thoughts:


someone said: the best things in the world are
a british home
an american salary
chinese food
and an indian wife

Whoever said it also coined similar phrases for the worst things in the world but lets not go there :-)

I agree with the first three. the fourth, I find very interesting.
Once, the typical Indian woman was the demure, docile housewife who took good care of her husband and her kids, did everything to make them happy irrespective of whether her own needs, especially emotional, were satisfied. Once married meant bound for eternity, so no matter what, she was to lead her life with the person she was married to. Even if she was unhappy with the relationship. The thought of an alternative never crossed her mind and even if it did, it was probably supressed. This thinking I find uniquely Indian.
Maybe thats why the last phrase was - an Indian wife.

The present presents a changed scenario. Taboos are falling apart.Our lifestyles are beginning to resemble those of our western counterparts.

Education and exposure probably did a lot to change the old mindset. There is growing cognizance among women of the existence of a way(or many) out of frustrating relationships. That they need not endure things for life. Another supporting factor is financial independence.

The IT revolution has been greatly responsible for the huge improvement in women employment, thereby quickening the change.

But divorces and break-ups come with unavoidable baggage. Broken homes, broken hearts, grudges, heartburns and a collection of bitter experiences for life.

So is this a by-product of women empowerment?

I cant think of anything to say further.. for now i end in ellipsis.

...to be continued

muse musing

a lie can be proved false
and the damage can be undone

when truth is distorted
and coloured to advantage,
things are irreversibly changed.
its impact is deeper and stronger

what you see could be true
but not transparent to you

phrases

Spells of solitude
intellectually engaging
latent talent
distorted truth

muse musing :-)

i was browsin through one community on orkut when i came across this question : what is life? well, i had never attempted to define life before so i thought i'd have a go at it. and this is what came to my mind...hmmm....

objectively:
we define life to our convenience. for every person, the way he has occupied himself from the moment of conscious existence itself is life. he knows no other.
no one knows why he is born, but the immense period of time between birth nd the time when his body starts giving up and his cells stop reproducing has to be filled with activity. why? because we are a thinking species and hence life is not solely about survival, unlike the way it is for other species.

on a not-so-lighter note:

life is a beautiful and colourful tapestry and each experience is another thread that makes it richer and more exquisite. it is a collection of photographs, it is the never ending metamorphosis of perception, it is a constant quest for the unknown

in the mundane world:
life is... waking up everyday with a purpose or maybe it is-- creating purposes one after another so that we have reason to wake up! that is tricky!

India in 1835- A Proposal from LORD MACAULAY to British Parliament

DISCLAIMER:
I do not claim the authenticity of this piece. It was printed behind the cover page of the April edition(vol.6, no.2) of the magazine "SEVAMED" (courtesy- Dignity Dialogue, February2007).

nevertheless interesting...

AN EXCERPT FROM LORD MACAULAY'S ADDRESS TO THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT, 2 FEBRUARY, 1835

"I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and I have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief, such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such calibre, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and ,
therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if
the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own,
they will lose their selfesteem, their native culture and they will become what we want
them, a truly dominated nation."